Halloween post mortem

Maybe I'm high on fun-size Butterfingers, but overall it seems our Halloween went pretty well...

I do enjoy taking the kids trick-or-treating because it enables me to peek into the homes of people who would never willingly invite me into their abodes.

And I must say that I am extremely concerned about the rampant proliferation of Precious Moments and Hummel figurines. Someone needs to do an intervention with these folks right now and introduce them to good taste.

I mean, it's bad enough to own those things, but do you really want to showcase them in a glass cabinet by your front door?

Maybe I am cranky after all...the Butterfingers are wearing off...

The biggest Halloween surprise was that not only did my kids remember Freaky Druid Couple from last year, they actually wanted to go back to the house and perform again.

We were somewhat disappointed to approach the driveway and see only half the couple was there -- just Freaky Druid Guy, no Freaky Druid Gal in sight.

His spiel went something like this: "At our house, you have to earn your treat...you can sing, dance or tell a joke."

My 6-year-old sang a rather lengthy ditty about spiders or something (which probably made him regret his request) and the 9-year-old gave him a joke ripped straight from the pages of Highlights magazine.

Anyway, he didn't seem nearly as creepy this year... so I proclaim his name from this moment forth to be simply "Druid Guy."

As we were leaving, his wife came out (in civilian garb) and we overheard him asking her why she wasn't dressed yet.

But even though we missed out on the full druid experience, it was all good.

My girls wore store-bought costumes, like 90% of all the kids we saw yesterday. This does not fly well with the older generation -- as my mother reminded me that she always made my costumes.

Then I have to remind my mom that all the old costumes that she put together are politically incorrect by today's standards.

Gypsy? Caricature of an ethnic group that deserves respect. Hobo? Can’t make fun of the homeless! In fifth grade I was Marie Antoinette…Let them eat cake? No way -- too many carbs.

Then again, we could all be more sensitive about some of the still-current favorites...

Vampire: eating disorders are not funny.
Devil: Satanists are people too.
Scream mask: could offend the serial killers in the neighborhood by making them feel trivialized.

As always, there were a couple of teenage Unabombers making the rounds -- kids that are too cool to have an actual costume, but they pull on a hooded sweatshirt and collect massive amounts of candy in a pillowcase.

Listen, as long as you're polite (which everyone was) creativity is not a requirement at our place. We're way too tired for that ourselves.

Gotta go -- there's a Snickers bar calling my name...