Saturday, March 31, 2007

Die Calypso, Die!

For the second time in seven months, my Kenmore/Whirlpool Calypso washing machine has forsaken me. As in displaying the evil "Ld"...

If you have one of these monstrosities, you know "Ld" stands for "long drain," which is appliance-speak for "You are screwed, you stupid consumer."

I'm so pissed that it's gotten me out of my blog hiatus and everything -- although I don't promise anything resembling good writing.

The washer machine will not drain, and (if like last time) it will probably take weeks for the part to come in, during which time I will be forced to wash my unmentionables in the sink while cursing like a sailor. (I'm not forced to curse like a sailor, but that's the only fun part of this whole thing.)

Strangely co-incidental, because somebody put the first comment on this old post of mine last week. Could that somehow have displeased the appliance gods?

The main purpose it to WARN ANY POTENTIAL BUYERS to stay far, far away from the Whirlpool Calypso. Actually, I don't believe the Calypso is sold new anymore, judging from a visit to -- but I do see a high efficiency (HE) washer called the "Cabrio" and suspect it may be the same bad product renamed. So, I would advise a great deal of internet research and complaint-searching before one purchases a Kenmore Cabrio.

At this point, I'd like to see my Calpyso dance right out of our lives...with the Master Protection Agreement we purchased last August, we get a new washer if our warranteed one needs four repairs in the course of any 12 month period. It's two "Lds" down, two "Lds" to go...

Oh yeah, I want this machine to DIE.

And not a slow death, but a heinous immolation kind of death. Well, maybe not anything that would require a housecall by our friendly neighborhood firefighters, but an immolation of a non-home-destructing nature would be just fine.

In case you haven't figured it out by now -- I HATE THE CALYPSO.

Next time, I know better than to buy the song and dance of less-water-usage and gentler-on-clothes. In addition to the complete breakdowns, the washer has periodically deposited little dots of black scum on the clothing (at least they usually shake off) and our knit clothes have had an overabundance of pinpoint holes develop in them.

I'll assume it's all some sort of punishment for my overall lack of domesticity -- because doing the wash is the only domestic thing I actually don't mind doing (it involves clothing - which I enjoy wearing - and, more importantly, it's an excuse to hide in a small room by myself and watch bad TV.)

I should have listened to my Esteemed Husband -- he never trusted the damn thing, with its suspiciously-low water level and its cavalier tossing about of our clothing. He saw through the pretty package to the black soul of the beast.

And now, I'll end my rant with some relevant links:

Class action settlement (unfortunately ours didn't break down fast enough for this):

To assure you that I am not alone in hating this thing, just a few of the many, many complaints floating about the internet: