Saturday, October 22, 2005

Tacky, Tasteless and Slightly Naughty (but not necessarily in that order)

Holy gaseousness Batman!

As seen in that bastion of good taste, The Lighter Side catalog:

Walter The Farting Dog Book Price: $15.95
Item is in stock
Our best-selling Walter The Farting
Dog Book is a whimsical tale about a lovable mutt with a gas problem. With
lively text and clever illustrations, this book is sure to delight children of
all ages! Item is hardcover, 32 pages.

Best-Selling??? Who'da thunk it? Well, I've never claimed to have my finger on the pulse of middle America...

And may I present to you the book's companion piece:

Walter The Farting Dog Plush
Price: $13.98
Item is in stock
Listen to Catalog Sound Clip
Our Walter The Farting Dog is based on the
best-selling whimsical tale about a lovable mutt with a gas problem. Sure to delight children of all ages, press the plush Walter's tummy and he noisily passes gas, just like his storybook inspiration! 7" long.

Golly, I wasn't aware there was a (niche?) market for flatulation humor/childhood education -- but I guess little Johnny would be all embarassed on the playground if he didn't know the basics about passing wind -- although I certainly don't see the need for any further enlightenment in my household.

However, I do not have the right to be all high and mighty, since I let my daughter have the toy "Gooey Louie" which involves pulling fake snot out of a plastic head.

But, to me:

Gas = Not Funny
Pulling Plastic Boogers until Brain Pops Out = Funny

It's all a matter of taste (or lack thereof.)

Speaking of taste, I also spotted this little item in the catalog:

Chocolate Thong
Price: $10.98
Item is temporarily out of stock
Add some tasteful fun to your relationship with this Chocolate Thong! Put on a Belgian milk chocolate thong, and the heat from your body begins to melt it away. Chocolate lovers will know what to do next! It makes the perfect gift for Valentines Day, bridal shower, anniversary, etc. Elasticized, one size fits most. State his or hers.

I don't want to be a party pooper, but, if you think it through, this product is ill-conceived...

I mean, just because you like two things individually doesn't mean they should be combined.

Case in point -- I like sushi and I like Ben & Jerry's, but I don't want B & J to come up with a flavor that involves chunks of raw fish.

It all seems like a waste of perfectly fine chocolate, and you know that in the end, someone's gonna get stuck stainsticking the sheets.


At October 22, 2005 1:30 PM, Blogger Merujo said...

I was laughing really hard at the soundbite of the farting dog and then I got down to the chocolate thong and added "EWW EWW EWW" to my laughter. I'm sure my neighbor is curious what is up.

"Chocolate Thong" (forgive me for this) sounds like code for someone who's had an accident. "Oh mah gawd - did you hear about Tiffany? At the party, there was such a line, she didn't make it to the bathroom on time. Total chocolate thong!"

I think I'm going straight to hell for that.


Post a Comment

<< Home