Monday, September 25, 2006

Big Box O' Clean!

Has this ever happened in your house? Paper, toys, and debris of unknown origin accumulating to the point that you're afraid to delve into the pile for fear of finding a rotting sandwich or small animal carcass?

Well, I'm about to let you in on a little secret -- a revolutionary way of cleaning your house or apartment that will save you HOURS of tedious housework.

Ten years of extensive testing by a real-life mother of two small children (me) has led to the development of an exciting new system that will change the way you clean FOREVER!

And now I'm offering it to the general public for the VERY FIRST TIME!

Introducing: the Cynco BIG BOX O' CLEAN!(TM) Home Cleaning System.

How many times do you find yourself frantically straightening up your home before company arrives? By the time your guests ring the doorbell you're so wiped you can barely offer them a crudites, let alone engage in witty repartee?

Never again! Not when all you have to do is say, "Honey, can you hand me a BIG BOX O' CLEAN?"

Simply place your BIG BOX(es) O' CLEAN!(TM) on the floor of the problem area.

Toss all loose items within reach into the box. Continue through the house until the box is filled.


In mere minutes, your home goes from trailer-trash clutter...

BEFORE a decorator's showroom!


You may even find a musical instrument you never knew you had!

You might ask, "Why can't I just use plastic containers from my local discounter to store my crap?"

I'm glad you asked! Ordinary plastic containers allow the user to see the items inside. With the items in sight, the user feels obligated to sort through the box - thereby wasting HOURS of time better spent watching brain-melting daytime TV.

But BIG BOX O' CLEAN!(TM) is made from revolutionary opaque fiber (patent pending). The durable material keeps the contents discretely out of sight and out of mind.

You see, that's the beauty of the BIG BOX O' CLEAN!(TM) Home System! You don't ever have to look in it again if you don't want to! Simply place in your basement or upstairs hallway and forget about it!

Or throw a towel over your BIG BOX O' CLEAN!(TM) and you've got yourself a durable end table or pet bed!

And they're stackable!

The BIG BOX O' CLEAN!(TM) comes in two convenient sizes:

Medium, for small items

Large, for your bigger messes.

How much would you pay to cut your clean-up time to a fraction of what it is today? $100? $200?

For a limited time, we're offering the Cynco BIG BOX O' CLEAN!(TM) Home Cleaning System for the low, low price of $39.95 (or two easy payments of 19.99!)

Imagine, just $19.99 (per month) for the entire system that includes two (2) large and (2) medium BIG BOX O' CLEAN!(TM).

For just an extra $5 you can chose our authentic-reproduction option for your Big Boxes of Clean(TM)... show off your internet savvy lifestyle.


If you order in the next 60 minutes, you'll receive a bonus BIG BAG O' CLEAN! (TM) - absolutely free!

The BIG BAG OF CLEAN! (TM) is lightweight, yet durable. Folds neatly when not in use.

DON'T MISS THIS CHANCE to experience the BIG CLEAN system for yourself!

Your life will never be the same!!!

*child not included


At September 25, 2006 12:51 PM, Blogger Rev. Smokin Steve said...

I can't get this many photos on my blog. has issues with my photo uploading for some reason. I'm so jealous of you for that.

At September 25, 2006 2:51 PM, Blogger Cyn said...

Oh, I always have a majorly hard time too. Usually it works if you upload them with no formatting (not centered, left, or right.)

Sometimes it works better if I shorten the file names...and other times it's worked to just cut and paste the file name into the html from another successfully loaded photo.

It's all a giant pain in the butt! Especially when all you're uploading is pictures of cardboard boxes.

At September 26, 2006 9:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can testify for the effectiveness of this method. The only drawbacks is JUDGEMENT DAY or moving day, solution I suppose, never, ever move. My mother-in-law looked at me with a devilish glint in her eye and declared she was bequething her "Big Box O'Clean" to me. Full of course. And where not just talking one box here. So I guess the system comes with a LIFETIME GUARANTEE. Another drawback I found was when you bury that much needed stuffed animal pencil topper named Bob at the bottom of the box and you don't remember doing it and a child is searching everywhere because Bob is missed by his friends and family! I guess that's my personal nightmare and I'll wake up eventually...

At September 28, 2006 8:22 PM, Blogger Merujo said...

I seriously need the economy size Big Box o' Clean in my home. Amelia Earhardt and Judge Crater may both be buried under crap in my dining room...

At September 29, 2006 4:50 PM, Anonymous spencer said...

The only problem is when you move - I found box o'cleans from 3 apartments ago. Not good, not good.


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