Sunday, October 02, 2005

Pennlist Script

Monday is a huge day in our household, in that we are actually engaging in an adult activity. (Hmmm, interesting choice of words -- must consult Dr. Freud.) What I meant to say was that my husband and I are having an evening out sans children. (Sometimes a concert is just a concert.)

Anyway, the occasion is a performance by immensely talented singer-songwriter Michael Penn.

A few years back, we were so impressed by Mr. Penn in concert that we joined a Yahoo group devoted to him -- the michaelpennlist. It was the first time I had participated in any kind of organized fan thing since the 70s when I dreamed of being Donny Osmond's Mormon bride, so you know I was really impressed by Michael's performance. (And no religious conversion required.)

Anyway, the Pennlist is a very cool, thoughtful community of music fans generally devoid of the junk that usually mess up these sorts of groups.

However, being a member of a group like this does present a somewhat difficult situation for tomorrow night's concert. For certainly there will be other Pennlisters at the show. And while in theory I like meeting new people that I have common interests with, in reality I suck at the kind of casual conversation this entails.

So, barring a secret handshake, here is a little script I have prepared for any Pennlisters that are attending tomorrow night's World Cafe Live show. All two of you. Stick to your part, and no one will get hurt.

Pennlist script

U = us, as in my husband and I; we generally speak in unison
Y = you

Y: You guys wouldn't happen to be on the Pennlist, would you?
U: Yeah…uh…hi. Nice to meet you.

Shake hands and introduce ourselves and vice versa whereupon I will immediately forget your name(s).

(awkward silence)

Y: Are you from around here?
U: Yeah…uh…(insert vague answer here.) How about you?
Y: (Please give your exact street address so we can stalk you.)
U: Oh yeah, I’ve heard that’s a nice area; although we never leave the house, so we don’t know from personal experience.

(awkward silence)

U: So…have you seen Michael before? (Dumb question, since you’re a Pennlister…)
Y: Yeah. He’s awesome live. Were you at The Point show?
U: Yeah. He was awesome.
Y: Yeah.
U: But we’re just here for the tuning.
Y: (polite chuckle here, please) Yeah… (You plan your escape route.)

(awkward silence)

Y: What do you think of Mr. Hollywood Jr.?
U: Love it. He’s a genius. How about you?
Y: Love it. He’s awesome.

(awkward silence)

U: Have you tried the hummus? It’s awesome.
Y: No, I’m not really a fan of the chickpea.
U: Yeah, we’re generally not into whole legumes either, but in their mashed form they’re quite tasty.

(extremely awkward silence)

U: Have you met Spencer yet? (nothing left to say, trying to divert you to Spencer)
Y: Yeah. He’s awesome.

(incredibly awkward silence)

Y: OK…well…nice to meet you guys.
U: Same here. See you on the pennlist!

Feel free to replace “awesome” with any of the following: “rocks” “sweet” “mind-blowing” “fantabulous.”

Please do not forget the awkward silences. They are integral to creating the general aura of discomfort that we thrive in.


At October 02, 2005 1:09 PM, Blogger Merujo said...

Well, now I wish I was going to the Philly show. I could actually up the ante on the conversation and ask you questions about Things I've Read in Your Blog. :-)

At October 02, 2005 1:20 PM, Blogger Cyn said...

Didn't you recognize that script from our conversation at The Point? It's the total extent of my social skills...

Hope you are able to catch MP later this tour -- sounds like the shows have been great.

BTW, please direct all blog questions to my attorney.


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