The Darndest Things

Scene: Fourth grade corridor of our daughter's elementary school on Back-to-School Night. The walls are decorated with the children's "All About Me" posters.

We admire our daughter's artwork and her love of bubble gum, hatred of vegetables and wish for world peace.

Then another child's poster catches my eye. Because in the "Things I Hate" space he has pasted the heads of Oprah and Dr. Phil. As I move closer for a better look, I see he has also scrawled "Bush" in between the magazine cut-outs.

My only question is, "Who is this kid, and how can I get him to marry my daughter?"

That Crystal Banister Table Lamp gets an A+

It is somewhat disturbing when you meet your daughter's teacher for the first time and think, "I believe Miss C. is young enough that I could have given birth to her." Luckily, given my shallow mind, this thought is soon replaced by, "Great shoes!" (For the record, a black stiletto pump with white trim.)

Anyway, I digress. Miss C. starts her talk to the parents by telling of her six years of teaching experience. She then adds that she also often takes on additional part time work --- in the local Restoration Hardware.

There is something very wrong with an experienced teacher having to work in retail on the side (or at least a joke that I haven't been able to come up with. Feel free to add your own.)