Friday, September 09, 2005

Rocks Stars in Excess


First of all, thank goodness somebody finally found Brooke Burke a shirt.

If you don't know whom I'm referring to, then you haven't been tuning in to watch Rock Star: INXS. For all I know, my husband and I may be the ones watching...well, I guess not, since theoretically folks are voting each week...

For the uninitiated, the premise is that a number of rockers are auditioning to be lead singer of the group INXS. If you are like me, you’re not all that familiar with the catalog of INXS, but may be aware that the lead singer erased himself permanently from the planet in 1997…thus throwing the rest of band members into a deep, deep sleep that only the kiss of Mark Burnett could awaken them from.

Anyway, it has been a guilty pleasure for us; albeit one that is made more pleasurable by taping and fast-forwarding through the more mundane performances. Even without the advantage of FF, RS:INXS contains nowhere near the filler and groan-worthy stuff that American Idol hurls at the viewer. And all the contestants seem to be experienced performers (at least since I started watching.) So it has been immensely more enjoyable than AI.

And there is just enough stuff on Rock Star INXS to ridicule, so it fulfills all our viewing requirements.

Take the lovely hostess Brooke Burke. Methinks her stylist has a nice S+M bent …last week’s outfits: on Tuesday we were served up thigh-high boots and a bra-revealing sheer top, and on Wednesday our dear little Miss Brooke seems to have stumbled into some sort of shirt-shredder with only strips of fabric remaining to drape across the aforementioned black bra. Poor girl.

But yesterday she was much more covered up. Perhaps as the contest heats up she needs to appear more credible?

To Brooke’s credit, she did seem a bit, um, less than totally comfortable in some of the more revealing get-ups

To my naïve eye, she appears to be a lovely and not a bit tart-y young lady

However, a google search enlightens me on all things Brooke. For example, the website entitled “The Goddess Brooke Burke” http://www.brookeburke.net/HTML/index2.html identifies her as a Frederick’s of Hollywood model and contains 182 photos of her in lingerie. So maybe she wasn’t as uncomfortable in that string-y thing as I thought.

And, in the interest of equal time, I present to you the website “Dave Navarro is God” http://www.so-to-speak-if-you-will.com/

You see, Dave Navarro (formerly of Jane’s Addiction and Red Hot Chili Peppers) is the…well, I’m not sure exactly what his role on Rock Star INXS is (god?) Maybe he’s there to give the show more cred?

Oh, he's a ROCK MENTOR! I can't believe I didn't figure that out on my own.

Regardless, I enjoy his many tattoos and unruly facial hair…besides trying to look fierce (but generally not succeeding) he seems to just basically say nice things to the contestants.

After weeks of viewing, I still can’t identify any member of INXS by name. But one guy is distinguishable by his John Waters pencil-thin mustache. Dude! This look does not work on anyone other than Mr. Waters. And it only works on him because we love his freakiness. On you, it’s just scary

One of the funniest things about the show is the way “INXS” is mentioned over and over (I guess because no one would know who the f-ck this guys were otherwise).

For example, the kiss-off line is “I’m sorry, but you’re just not right for our group INXS.” And then (if the kick-off-ee is a woman) they say, “Come over here and give us a PROPER goodbye” and proceed to hug the woman very, very tightly while the camera graciously cuts away.

Anyway, as usual I detour so much there is not a whole lot of useful information here on the actual competition (see Wikipedia entry below for mucho actual info.)
For those familiar with the players, I really like Mig -- he’s got lots of talent, a good look and plays the role of “nice guy” very well

There’s the scary blond guy (Marty) who is fascinating to watch, probably not exactly right “for our group INXS” but will likely make a name for himself.

And then there’s former Elvis impersonator J.D. who wins the asshole award and may be right for the gig if only that he seems to be channeling Michael Hutchence, that is if you can channel someone in an overly studious way.

Yeah, there’s a chick left too (Suzie) but I’m not into her that much (although I do love her two-tone hair.)

As much as I’ve enjoyed the process thus far, I think it’s time to wrap this sucker up. We know what everyone’s all about, and I get the feeling that “our group INXS” has probably already decided who they want to go with.

If any of the select few that read this also watch the show (not great odds I guess) I’d love to get your opinions – feel free to comment!
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Rock Star: INXS
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Rock Star: INXS is a reality television show where 15 contestants compete to become the lead vocalist for the Australian rock band INXS.
INXS enjoyed great popularity through the 1980s and early 1990s, but in 1997, frontman Michael Hutchence committed suicide. The band attempted to go on with alternate singers, but remained largely latent until this show.
Contestants are housed in a Hollywood mansion, and square off in an American Idol-style singing contest. Unlike Idol, however, the songs are more rock and roll and less pop. The performances too, are much more animated and "rocking." Each week, viewers vote for their favorite contestant. The bottom three then perform an INXS song and the members of the band select the two they wish to keep and let the third go home. The final remaining contestant will win the job of lead vocalist.
The show originally appeared three nights a week on CBS. The format ran with a half-hour behind-the-scenes episode on Monday, a one-hour performance episode on Tuesday and a half- hour elimination episode on Wednesday. However, on August 3, 2005, CBS announced the behind-the-scenes episode would move to Sunday nights on VH1 effective August 7, 2005 due to low ratings.
The show is executive produced by Survivor's Mark Burnett and is hosted by Brooke Burke and former Jane's Addiction guitarist Dave Navarro.
Contestants
Brandon Calhoon - 31 (turns 32 on December 8) (Beaverton, Michigan) (Eliminated seventh, 8/10/2005)
Dana Robbins - 30 (turns 31 on December 14) (Studio City, California) (Originally from Las Vegas, Nevada) (Eliminated first, 7/11/2005)
Daphna Dove - 30 (Los Angeles, California) (Originally born in Germany, and raised in New York City, New York) (Eliminated fourth, with Heather Luttrell, 7/27/2005)
Deanna Johnston - 36 (Reseda, California) (Originally from Kingston, Ontario) (Eliminated ninth, 8/24/2005)
Heather Luttrell - 27 (turns 28 on December 5) (Atlanta, Georgia) (Eliminated fifth, with Daphna Dove, 7/27/2005)
J.D. Fortune - 32 (Oakville, Ontario) (Originally from Saltspring, Nova Scotia)
Jessica Robinson - 26 (Chicago, Illinois) (Eliminated eighth, 8/17/2005)
Jordis Unga - 23 (St. Paul, Minnesota) (Eliminated eleventh, 9/7/2005)
Marty Casey - 31 (turns 32 on September 26) (Chicago, Illinois)
Mig Ayesa - 35 (London, England) (Originally born in the Philippines, and raised in Sydney, Australia)
Neal Carlson - 29 (turns 30 on December 11) (Queens, New York) (Eliminated third, 7/20/2005)
Suzie McNeil - 28 (turns 29 on October 15) (Toronto, Ontario) (Originally from Mississauga, Ontario)
Tara Slone - 31 (turns 32 on September 7) (Toronto, Ontario) (Originally born in Montreal, Quebec and raised in Nova Scotia) (Eliminated sixth, 8/3/2005)
Ty Taylor - 36 (Las Vegas, Nevada) (Originally from Montclair, New Jersey) (Eliminated tenth, 8/31/2005)
Wil Seabrook - 28 (turns 29 on October 25) (Pasadena, California) (Originally from Morganton, North Carolina) (Eliminated second, 7/13/2005)
[edit]
External links
Official Site for TV Series
Official Band Site
Official MSN site

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