Tuesday, August 23, 2005

5 Beds, 2 1/2 Baths, 200+ Disembodied Souls

There's a little road we travel occasionally called Cemetery Road which , oddly enough, has a small cemetery* on it. To the left of and behind, there is housing (but none all that close to the cemetery.)

About a year ago, we noticed the woods on the other side of the road were being cleared. It was obvious the land was being developed, but until recently we didn't realize that houses were going to be built there.

Driving past yesterday, two houses were pretty much completely framed out -- and they both are directly across the street from (and facing) the cemetery.

Now this is what one might call a "country" road - just barely two lanes, no painted lines, no shoulder. And the front doors of these houses are practically on the road (no front yards to speak of.)

These aren't little cottages either - look like houses that might sell in the 400s. (Jan 2007 Editors note: listing prices were actually more than 900-grand...remember that crazy real estate sellers' market...)

So...am I the only one who wouldn't want my dream house complete with a view to remind me of my own mortality?

Don't get me wrong -- I love cemeteries -- in the daytime at least. I'm into genealogy, and a little graveyard like this one is usually an interesting place to explore the past. I have spent hours peering at headstones looking for a great-great-grandparent.

But even though I'm not highly superstitious, I still can't help but think there's gotta be at least one or two disgruntled spirits hanging around any given cemetery ("What's with this lamb? I wanted a winged skull on my headstone!")

I can only imagine the brain trust (Shaggy & Scooby Doo?) who decided this was the perfect site for building homes.

Didn't these people see Poltergeist?

And how does a real estate agent sell the houses? "It's new construction, a wonderful school district...You don't have a problem with the undead, do you? Once you settle in, you'll hardly notice their unearthly moaning."

Or will they use denial? "Tombstones? Oh no, they're lawn ornaments! I think the neighbors are sculptors -- but you'll like them -- they're quiet and usually keep to themselves."

So imagine the happy family moving into their new place...filling out their change of address cards to "Cemetery Road."

I can see little Emily, tucked in bed and hugging her teddy bear in the dark, calling out, "Mom! There's a clanking noise keeping me awake!" "Oh Emily, you know it's just Letitia making her nightly rounds. Be patient and she'll pass back into the other dimension before you know it."

At least they won't have to spend a lot of money on Halloween decorations.

*an attempt at accuracy -- my husband has informed me that it is actually two tiny cemeteries next to each other, and an internet search confirmed this. Both are so small that there are no signs (but plenty of visible graves!)


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