Port-A-Potty Screams

I teased this aspect of our Appel Farm Festival excursion in earlier posts...but at this point, a week afterwards, I've completely lost interest...

So, here is the Cliff Notes version of our Port-A-Potty Incident:


1) If you happened to be in the vicinity of Elmer, NJ last Saturday, the screams echoing throughout the farmlands were coming from my two children as they entered the Port-A-Potty at Appel Farm.

And this was a double-sized potty, more than enough room for all three of us to enter at once, theoretically with extra ventilation...

My youngest's screams were mainly caused by the presence of a lone fly inside. My oldest couldn't figure out a way to go while holding her nose.

Both girls wanted to bolt, but each had recently downed a large fruit smoothie and I insisted that they had to do their business then and there. Because I had no intention of making the inevitable-if-they-didn't-pee-now return trip during the upcoming Fountains of Wayne set.

Ten loooong minutes later, we were out. I started to explain our prolonged absence to my husband, who stopped me with, "I could hear every word you said in there."

Oh, joy.

2) To the person who took a huge dump in this particular Port-A-Potty previous to us:

First of all, I commend you on your ability to unleash your colon in this most unprivate of situations. I am not, nor will I ever be, that free.

That said, how could you not at least put a single sheet of toilet paper on top of your waste to hide it from subsequent users? Were you that proud of yourself?

NEXT TIME -- FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE AND THE CONCLUSION OF THIS NEVERENDING THREAD!!