Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Coca-Cola Company Finds a Way to Take Even More of My Money

I'm embarrassed to admit that I have a little bit of a coke problem. Diet Coke, that is.

That this is my worst vice tells you exactly how dangerous a life I lead.

Generally, the first thing I ingest each morning is a can of Coke Zero. Diet Coke with Lime when I feel like going wild. (Yes, this is healthy living at its best.)

My stash -- hey, Wegmans had a really good sale...!

So forgive me if I got a little excited when I saw the four-packs of new Coca-Cola Blak stacked in the center of the supermarket aisle the other day. (There's a little squiggly line over the "a" in Blak, but honestly I don't know how to reproduce that character with my keyboard.)

A "Carbonated Fusion Beverage"! I didn't have a clue as to what that meant, but it got my heart racing...

...and there was a coupon attached. Well, the combination of coke and coupon was too much for this gal to resist. (I told you that I live a dangerous life.)

A perusal of the label told me that the fusion was Coke fused with coffee fused with lots of high fructose corn syrup with a dash of aspartame (Nutrasweet). 45 empty calories, but I can deal with that.

The next morning, I can hardly wait to unscrew the plastic cap from the Blak. As the bottle slides into my hand, I am pleasantly surprised to find that this is an ACTUAL GLASS BOTTLE. A little measly 8-ounce bottle shrink-wrapped in plastic, but it's glass. Holy retro childhood memories Batman! (Yeah, I'm old enough to remember when Coke routinely came in glass bottles.)

I brace myself -- figuring this is a beverage meant to provide a serious caffeine jolt, but maybe not the best of tastes -- and take a sip.

And is GOOD. Kind of like a carbonated Black Russian, but that Coke flavor adds a spicy zip.

I can't vouch for exactly how much caffeine is in the Blak's eight ounces, but I did feel motivated enough to drag the Hoover SteamVac in from the garage and clean a room-sized rug. And that should tell you something.

All this excitement is pricey -- I think the four-pack cost about four bucks. And for that price I can drink an entire 12-pack of Coke Zero and get an even better caffeine buzz (and probably end up scrubbing the grout in my shower with a toothbrush.)

But I can see Blak as an alluring alternative to the occasional malt beverage when we're on vacation down the shore, or at a family picnic -- and who knows, the caffeine might even motivate me to have a conversation with my relatives.


At May 28, 2006 1:04 AM, Blogger Spencer said...

I had one over vacation and was happy to see how few calories there were compared to a full size soda. It also tastes great.

I did wonder how much caffeine until I read that it packs twice the caffeine of a regular coke - nice. Good afternoon jolt.

At May 30, 2006 8:44 AM, Blogger Merujo said...

I'll have to wait until they make "Diet Coke Blak" since I can't do the sugar thang. For now, I'll stick with Coke Zero (what I call Diet Crack.)

I actually called Coca-Cola in Atlanta to tell them to NEVER stop making Coke Zero. I have a problem. My name is Melissa, and I have a Coke Zero addiction.

At March 15, 2007 1:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh my GOD. I have never (and being a chronic pain sufferer and having access to many many types of medication that I never became addicted to EVER) had any type of addiction like Coke Zero. I roam the empty aisles at Stop & Shop over and over again refusing to believe that there is NO Coke Zero in stock. I have driven in the middle of the night searching for it. It's insane. And I've drunk Coca Cola my whole life but nothing is like Coke Zero. I'm convinced it's got something in it that is highly addictive. Without it I'm like bedridden! LOL

At June 17, 2008 12:58 PM, Anonymous Andrew Farley said...

I too have become highly addicted to Coke Zero. I walk 10 minutes out of my way on my lunch break so I can get to the nearest shop that sells it. I can taste the next can or bottle in my mouth before I've drank it. In short, I can't live without it! Help!

Andy, Channel Islands

At July 03, 2009 7:21 AM, Anonymous Gary Bald said...

Hi, my name is Gary Bald. I have two addictions, sanwhiches, and now unfortunately coke zero. At work I tann 3 or 4 cans a day. I can't stop myself. I regularly get lost on my way to work or home if I havn't had my fix of ''Zero''. It means everything to me. I can't believe I need a juice so much. The taste is the best I have ever tasted. Im getting light headed thinking about it and a sandwhich. I need help, Gazza.

At July 03, 2009 7:29 AM, Blogger Dougal said...

Hi Gazza, I understand what your going through. A guy I work with is the exact same. He does 3-4 cans before lunch then feels dirty for it. He says he wants help but I dont think he does. He says the problems are that the people he works with are into plane spotting and wigs. He says its his only release. Any advice to help would be appreceated!

At July 03, 2009 7:37 AM, Anonymous Gary Bald said...

Hi Dougal, it's Gary here. I feel the same as the guy you work with. At the moment Im horny for coke zero constantly. When I have my first hit, usually around 8am, I don't even enjoy it. But I know its going to be the first of many throughout the day. I've done 3 cans by 11, 6 by 2pm and by the time I go to sleep with my boyfriend Balboa (he also wears a wig, coincidence?) I'll have had 2 big bottles and had Balboa shower me in a 3 litre bottle. I don't know what to do, it's taking over my life. I eat more sandwhiches to take my mind off it but they make me thirstier and I need a hit! I feel dirty and embarrassed when I go home to see my bro and my family and when I go to see the pars my friends can't believe whats happened to me.

At July 03, 2009 7:44 AM, Blogger Dougal said...

Gazza, I here you sister! The guy from work was telling me that hes started waring really baggy trousers so his belly can hang free. He also admitted that he often things about zero so much that his glasses steem up and he cant see. I've caught him in the desabled toilet a few times just staring at a bottle and licking a picture of tim westwood.


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