Vindicated!

Anyone who knows me, even a little, knows that I have been on an anti-clown crusade for years.

It's not that I'm afraid of clowns; rather I am highly suspicious of their motives. No one would wear all that makeup unless they had something to hide. There is something shady going on -- I'm sure of it -- and we need to eliminate clowndom before it's too late.

Anyway...I digress a bit from my intended purpose. On the way into work this morning, I heard a radio report confirming a hypothesis of my clown conspiracy theory - that kids (who often have clowns inflicted upon them) don't like them one bit either.

More than 250 hospitalized children were surveyed, and not one of the children - not one!- liked clowns.

Surely this is a sign, Ladies and Gentlemen -- the time for action has come! We must unite to remove clowns from our midst. May I kindly suggest sending them all off to a remote island...perhaps wherever it was that lepers were sent in biblical times. There the clowns could spritz each other with seltzer water to their hearts' delight.

By the way, I tried to upload a typically creepy clown photo here, but it just would not upload. Another sign...)